I have recently encountered an unexpected benefit from sharing my grief. On a random encounter with a misdelivered newspaper, I discovered that a close friend of mine back in junior high had lost her father to cancer over the holidays. Not being able to mentally deal with another funeral, I sent a card to her via the funeral home along with my contact information.

Well, yesterday I got an email from her thanking me for the card and wanting to catch up with our lives. We are both mothers to two children. We have both recently lost our fathers to a devastating illness. We still have quite a lot in common.

Mostly in the email she had questions about emotions that she is experiencing right now. And her insomnia. (And don't I know about that!) She wants to know if I felt the same way and how I am feeling now. It is unfortunate that I had to tell her that I really don't feel much better although my loss anniversary is coming up on one year but at least it is honest. I wish that I had had someone close in age to me to tell me what to possibly expect. Most people around me lost their parents when they were a lot older than I am. Sharing the story of the loss is hard but it makes it more real, not so much like a movie that I watched at some point.

I'm not sure how the relationship between us will progress from this point and I don't need to know. Our past involved closeness, but then growing apart as we matured and developed our own lives. This reconnection through our grief has so far been priceless. Almost like a gift from both of our fathers. I hope that they are golfing together up in heaven.