Chris and I were just remembering that this time last year was the time that we got our news about Becken. The above photo is the one that came with our referral, our very first photo of our beloved son.

I had been nervous and removed and quiet as soon as I knew that they were sending out the information to us. I had spoken to our worker at our agency on the phone when she called to tell us about him. I was in shock I think because we hadn't expected a call until February and here it was only December! I went to Chris' work to tell him about our son and he couldn't believe it either. It had all happened so fast.

I couldn't sleep that night waiting for the report and photo to arrive by UPS the next morning. When I first received the envelope, my initial reaction was to put it away but I forced myself to open it right then. I immediately turned to the last page to see the photo. And I fell in love! That gorgeous looking baby.

The love I felt for this baby was instantaneous, overwhelming and all encompassing. There are no words to actually describe the emotions that I felt rushing into me because I had seen his face.

For Christmas I had 50 2006 business card calendars printed with his face. And now everytime I come across one of the calendars, my breath catches. He no longer looks like the photo. I never knew him then and I get sad. I get excited remembering the rush. I get grateful when I realize again that my baby is safe at home with me.

There are times that Becken will sleep in that same position and look exactly like that referral photo. His dad and I can't believe how blessed and lucky we are to have this angel in our lives.