I was checking in with my blog faves and read the following from Julia at
they might be hipposgrifs.
Here is her post:
12 Dot Over
I had an ultrasound this afternoon with my OB. I was saddened (but not particularly shocked) to see that the fetbryo no longer has a heartbeat. It had grown a lot since last week so we assume that it must have died in the past day or so.So.
Well.
Yes.
I feel quite peaceful, actually. The uncertainty of the past week was very hard for me. Hoping and yet hopeless, I felt utterly drained and panicky and … and just AWFUL. I know where we are now and I can live with it. Of the myriad horrible possible outcomes (postnatal death, stillbirth, genetically normal but irreparable defects, therapeutic termination) a gentle in uterine loss at 11 weeks seems fairly kind in the scheme of things. Having accepted that this baby could not live (for whatever reason, although I suspect the CVS results will confirm an unbalanced translocation) I cannot help but be grateful that I was spared worse.
My OB said that at this stage miscarrying on my own is out of the question. She said the risk of winding up in the emergency room, bleeding profusely, is just too high. So I have a D&C scheduled for 7:00 AM (check in time 5:45 AM. which is completely depressing because the only tiny shining light in this painful mess is the promise of the sweet sweet embrace of Morpheus and his general anesthetic and you know what? even *I* don’t need general anesthetic at seven o’clock in the goddamned morning. four in the afternoon maybe. lunch time perhaps. but DAWN? no) Wednesday morning.
Obviously we wanted this baby. Obviously it hurts to lose it.
I don’t know how to end this post
She has had over 400 comments of sympathy, but I don’t think that there can be too many. If you haven’t yet done so, please head on over and let her know you are thinking of her. And now with this on top of everything else, I’m so glad that tomorrow begins a new week.
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