When my husband and I were going through fertility treatments, we were fortunate enough to live fairly close to a fertility clinic. When we needed a specimen for an intrauterine insemination (IUI), we could take care of business together in the privacy of our bedroom, and then I would drive the specimen to the fertility clinic for the procedure. Even though we might be miles apart when our baby was technically conceived, it would at least be a joint effort.
Our friends were not so lucky. They lived a good distance from their fertility clinic, and the clinic was located in the downtown area of a very large city. Because of traffic, there was no way to ensure that a specimen could be delivered within 30 minutes of obtaining it. Because of the time element involved in a sperm wash, the clinic told our friends that they must obtain the specimen on the premises.
A room was set aside for this purpose. It had a Naugahyde couch with a bunch of girly magazines available to assist the men in obtaining their specimens. While the men took care of their end of things, the women would be waiting in another room and preparing for the insemination.
The husband was not too wild about this arrangement. He felt funny about having “Miss October” be a part of his child’s conception when making a baby was supposed to be about him and his wife. Did Miss October really have a place in their baby-making attempts?
Fertility treatments are challenging, in part, because of the doctor’s role in the bedroom. Making a baby is only supposed to involve two people, and the doctor makes three. You have the nurse, which brings the tally up to four. Is there really room for a fifth participant by the Naugahyde couch?
Of course, the magazines have a purpose. No baby is going to be conceived unless a specimen is first obtained. However, I can see where a couple might take issue with having Miss October involved in the process. The more people we bring into the conception process, the more removed the conception becomes from how baby-making was originally intended.
Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt
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