When I was going through fertility procedures, I desperately wanted to talk with someone else who understood what I was going through, so I was thrilled when my doctor gave me a flyer about a support group that one of the nurses was organizing. I brought the flyer home and showed it to my husband, who was not at all interested in "sitting around talking about infertility issues." So, I decided to go alone to find the emotional support I needed.

The support group met at the doctor's office on a weeknight, and you could cut the tension with a knife. Most people came with their spouses, and they talked to nobody but each other. We ate some cookies and sat around listening to the nurse talk to us. There was no discussion, and I left feeling like I was not "heard" because I never got to talk. The nurse left the practice shortly after this meeting, so there was never a second session.

Fast-forward several years...After I adopted my son and was a happy stay-at-home mom, I still remembered the loneliness I experienced as I tried to become pregnant. I knew that there were other women out there in the same place, and I wanted to offer them the comfort that I never received. So, I decided to form my own infertility/waiting to adopt support group.

I talked to my pastor, who was thrilled with the idea. He, himself, had been through fertility procedures, so he knew how difficult it was. He gave me permission to start a fertility support group through our church.

I ran an ad through our church newsletter and specified that any inquiries into the support group would be kept confidential. Three people were interested: one couple who were members of my church, and one woman who learned about the support group through a friend of a friend. (Like my husband, this woman's husband had no interest in attending a support group.)

At our first meeting, we talked about what they were looking for in a support group. How frequently would they like to meet? What location, day, and time was best for them? I tailored the support group to meet their needs. I will talk about the details in my next post.

Related Topics:

• Informal Support Groups
• How to Stay Sane While Going Through Infertility
• Keeping Your Emotional Footing through Infertility