My husband and I have dealt with infertility the better part of our marriage. It has shaken us to the core at times and made us wonder if we ever would be able to share our love with a son or daughter of our own. It makes you question yourself as a person and changes your perception of life itself. It is a fate that I would not wish on my worst enemy. At times it can make you feel different and insignificant. You then began to retreat and allow it to dictate your next moves, thoughts, and steps. It is the difference between a wonderful day and a day full of self indulgence and pity. You feel alone as though no one understands how you feel. If this is how you are feeling right at this very moment I would like to sympathize with you. You have every right to feel whatever way that you want and need to feel. You don’t have to feel as though you are alone because the truth is simply this, YOU ARE NOT. There are many of us who are out here that suffer with infertility. Just as you will not say that you are going through infertility others will not either.
I have found that just having a outlet such as a forum that I can express my thoughts and opinions have helped me greatly. While I am not the type of person who generally likes to share my personal business, a online forum allows you to have a voice without a face. Infertility makes you feel as though you have lost all control, but we must take control back. I have suffered with infertility for 9 years and I decided several years ago to take back my life. Infertility doesn’t have to define your very existence. At some point you will have to make a choice as to if you are going to continue down that road or if you need to make a u-turn and reclaim you. It certainly is not a easy task and one that you have to decide carefully. Taking back control of the situation does not mean that you are quitting or giving up rather it just mean that you get your smile back.
At times you will revert and have a me day and honestly that is fine, you are certainly entitled to it! You may choose to take a break and then start back up in a few months, you may choose to adopt, or you may choose to live child free. But it’s important that you choose and accept what you have chosen after all Infertility has been choosing for you for so long. Even though infertility is tough, you are tougher. Even though infertility is hard, you are harder. Even though you feel voiceless, you have a voice. I have chosen to adopt a child from foster care and although I am a mother I still have that yearning to bare a child. It is something that will never completely go away. Yes, I still suffer with infertility but I am stronger today in the mist of it all knowing that I have made the choice to Take Back My Life!!!!