Another great thing that I learned from this article from iVillage was first off, how the level of information shared must be age appropriate to your own child. If you do decide to disclose your child’s beginnings to them, then needing to be prepared for each stage and also the level of questions that it may bring will be beneficial to all involved. The ranges of questions that they put up for example included the questions below which begin at the preschool level and conclude in adolescence. Which I suppose could also continue into adulthood.
“Where did I come from?”
“How did I get inside you?”
How was I made?”
“What’s an ovum donor?”
“What’s a genetic parent?”
“What made you pick this donor?”
“Will I ever meet my donor?”
“If you wanted a smarter kid, you should have paid more for a donor! How much did you pay the donor?”
“Does this mean you’re not my real parent?”
“Why would someone give her eggs?”
Reading through these questions put a feeling of ice in my stomach considering the questions that my son will be able to come up with about his adoption. And what will I say? Considering that he is only about 17 months, I think that I have a little bit of time to think through my answers. Regardless of any type of guideline, you never can really know what is going to come your way in the future. I just hope that any answers that I provide will be honest and will also give him some sense of comfort.
I think that the question that strikes the most fear in my heart is the question, “Does this mean that you aren’t my real parent?” Although I know in my heart that the act of parenting makes a parent, there is no discounting biology and I wouldn’t want to. According to his story, I hope that he finds his father and I to be adequate stand ins, not replacements, for his biological parents.
Related posts:
