I guess one positive thing about going to a clinic that does not provide real personalized, comforting treatment is that the adjustment to seeing my regular obstetrician was not that difficult. It was, however, an adjustment for sure. I went from what seemed like daily appointments to only one appointment a month (at first), and a very nonchalant attitude toward hearing the heartbeats and providing reassurance.
My clinic is like a lot of yours – I rarely saw “my” doctor other than for the initial consultation and one of the procedures (the transfer but not the retrieval). The doctors were meeting and developing a plan for my particular situation but I, as a person, was not crucial to those discussions. Although this definitely bothered me at first, and I surely did have some snide remarks about not even getting to talk to a human for results (we called in to our personal voicemail for updates and directions), in hindsight I truly do appreciate my clinic’s methods. I have no need to develop a relationship with my RE if all goes according to plan. I didn’t intend for him to guide me through my pregnancy, to deliver the baby, or to be my long-term doctor of any type. I already had an obstetrician that I loved and that was not the RE’s role. His job was to get me pregnant and he was successful, which really is all that mattered to me. After his “job” was done thanks to a real sharing of knowledge and technique with his colleagues and an attention to the details of my fertility issues, I would be released to my regular ob/gyn.
Due to some spotting and a multiples pregnancy I stayed with my RE for longer than some. I was released from my clinic at about 8 weeks after one final ultrasound, progesterone testing, and some much needed reassurance that everything seemed to be going well. Once I walked into my ob/gyn’s office I realized that things would be different rather quickly, but the point was really driven home when my doctor tried to use the Doppler and couldn’t find anything and just sent me on my way. No offer of an ultrasound or test of beta levels. No overwhelming reassurance to my question of why I wasn’t experiencing any sickness or feelings of being pregnant other than a blanket statement that some women just didn’t get sick. And the most unnerving part of it all – no follow-up appointment until weeks later.
I actually got to see a doctor (and get ultrasounds) more often than most because it was a twin pregnancy, but it was still nothing like the endless appointments at the clinic that usually featured intense discussion about the hopeful/eventual pregnancy. Once you are released to your regular obstetrician it truly is an adjustment to realize that this miracle that is taking place in your life is pretty commonplace in your doctor’s world. He sees pregnant women every day and doesn’t distinguish you from the others based on how long it took you to conceive. It will be a shock at first and it is easy to feel as though you are being neglected or misunderstood but if you trust the competency and compassion of your doctor just try to revel in the feeling of sitting in a waiting room with other pregnant women and nobody even thinking you are different for any reason at all!
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