When my husband and I initially completed the IVF paperwork and consent forms we were forced to discuss our options in terms of freezing any embryos that we did not transfer, donating them to another couple, discarding them, or donating them to research. All of these options were only IF we had any embryos that were going unused and when we began the process we had no idea if we would even have the two, three or more we were hoping for and/or if there would be any “leftover.” When we allowed ourselves to dream and hope we envisioned finally getting pregnant with one baby and freezing five or six embryos to use in a couple of years to try for a sibling. Needless to say, it did not work out that way. We were very lucky and fortunate and blessed to conceive twins from our two transferred embryos. That left three or four (we are still unclear on the exact number of how many made it to freezing – long story) that we decided to freeze. The decision to freeze the embryos had to be made before we knew the outcome of the IVF cycle so we paid our money and crossed our fingers that if the fresh cycle proved unsuccessful, a frozen embryo transfer might be an affordable option.
We knew that as self-pay patients with no insurance coverage for fertility treatments that we could only afford one IVF cycle. Frozen Embryo Transfers are considerably less expensive and was a viable option if the IVF cycle did not result in a baby. Fast forward to shortly after our healthy and beautiful babies were born and we open a bill from our fertility clinic asking us to decide if we want to pay for another year of storage for the frozen embryos, or discard them. With two newborns, the last thing on our minds was having children anytime soon. The financial constraints of twin infants were taking their toll and the bill for cryopreservation was daunting. But, we also had names, faces and personalities to now attach to what we once saw as little embryos from our first cycle and began to think of the frozen embryos as yet to be born children, too.
Of all of the immensely difficult aspects of infertility and fertility treatments the question of what to do with frozen embryos is probably the most overwhelming and ethically and morally challenging. I also think it is a very personal decision and one that must be made between the couple who must do what is best for them and their family and relationship. For us, we just could not decide. We have said that we wouldn’t mind having more children but that we are done with fertility treatments. Nevertheless, we are lucky to have frozen embryos and we don’t want to let go of our options (and yes, our potential babies in our view). So, we found a way to save the money to keep them frozen for another year. We are aware that all we are doing is delaying the decision and debate, but sometimes that is the best option of all.
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