While suffering with infertility I always had a secret hope that I am sure is shared by many other people who pursue fertility treatments. I wanted more than anything to just miraculously get pregnant and prove all the doctors wrong, showing everyone that we weren’t actually infertile and that we could get pregnant on our own. I did lots of reading about people who got pregnant after the HSG test and convinced myself that would happen to me too, but it didn’t. I kept putting off the initial consultation with the Reproductive Endocrinologist thinking that I would have luck in the month before the appointment, to no avail. I tried a new tactic every month that was supposed to improve my chances, but ultimately realized that, after months and months of concerted efforts on my own with no success, I needed help. The miscarriage that occurred after a Clomid cycle gave me tormenting false hope. Even though years passed before the miscarriage and more than a year after with that being the only sign that conception might be possible, I believed that if it could happen once, it could happen again and stick.
I was wrong. My husband and I just had too many strikes against us for us to conceive without assistance. Some people though, do have that dream come true. I have a good friend who tried for a little over a year before seeking out a specialist. I referred her to my doctor at the fertility clinic and was so excited for her when she scheduled her first IUI. Initial testing indicated that she had an undiagnosed thyroid issue, but her doctor did not think that was the crux of her problems (slight male factor problems were present too) and advised that while trying to control her thyroid problem that they also do an IUI procedure. The month of her IUI, two or three months after starting the thyroid medication she was waiting for her period to start to begin the cycle. When it never came she tested and lo and behold it was positive. She ended up going into the clinic for a beta test and when they told her everything looked good she was sent on her way with well wishes to her regular obstetrician.
When she told me the good news I was surprised, actually. I thought the story of conceiving right before fertility treatments was pure myth. After my initial shock, I quickly became quite jealous. A sentiment that I tried to hide since she was ecstatic, even more so because she was able to save money by not doing the procedure, have a true surprise positive that she got to tell her husband about, and not have all of the tricky explanations about how her little one came to be. Somewhere in the midst of this euphoric celebration of her good fortune she mentioned that she thought the real reason she was able to conceive was because she completely relaxed. Once she had a plan in place to do the IUI she stopped thinking about conception, stopped worrying about timing and signs, and just lived life as normally as possible in the month before she hoped she would finally be blessed with a child through IUI.
I agree with her. I do think that, in this particular situation, the stress was gone and she was able to “relax” and was able to conceive. Granted, she didn’t have a number of issues preventing her from getting pregnant. She had been trying to conceive for just a little over a year and at her age that was the minimum amount of time couples were supposed to try before seeing a doctor. She was pursuing IUI rather than IVF and did not have to take suppression medications or contraception and therefore it was actually possible to get pregnant in the month before. Nevertheless, I agree with her – having a plan acted as kind of a placebo and she was able to truly relax in a way that I found impossible after so many years of failed attempts, heartbreak, and harsh reality. I am so happy for her and truly think it is wonderful that she did not really have to join the infertility world but, I do think her situation is a rarity and not the norm. I think everyone struggling to conceive should do everything they possibly can to make their baby dreams come true, but I do think that there is a place for realism and sometimes that means accepting that the miracle will be through fertility treatments not a pre-treatment conception.
Related posts:
