I have always been a Friends fanatic – well, since the second season, anyhow. (The monkey in the first season always creeped me out.) I own several seasons on DVD, and watching any episode is always guaranteed to put a smile on my face. So, when I was scanning channels the other day, I stopped as soon as I saw a Friends rerun. It was clearly from the last season, which was not the strongest season but still enjoyable.
This episode happened to be the one where Chandler and Monica found out that they were very unlikely ever to conceive a child. Even though the show tried to bring some humor into the situation, the overall scene was poignant as Monica learned that she might never be a mother.
Unlike many series that decide “let’s do an infertility storyline” and then suddenly make the character want a child, Friends was different. Monica always wanted a baby. She broke up with Richard in Season 2 (played by Tom Selleck, no less!) because he already had grown children and had no desire to raise another child. She repeatedly talked about wanting to be a mother one day, and she always melted whenever a child was on-screen.
Because Monica’s desire to be a mom was always a part of her character, the show was in a unique position to drive home the pain of infertility. Friends was such a popular show, and millions of people had watched Monica yearn for a child for almost a decade. Watching her facial expression as she learned that she would never realize the dream of becoming pregnant was absolutely heart-wrenching. I believe that many people who did not understand the depth of the pain finally got a clue after watching that episode.
Monica received this news after watching her friend, Rachel, have an unplanned pregnancy and struggle with juggling a career while being a single mother. There was something inherently unfair about Rachel having a baby while Monica, who was married and desperately wanted a child, could not. And yet, these women found a way to be there for each other while each struggled in her own way.
I do not rely on sitcoms to provide an accurate view of “real life,” but I was very impressed with the dynamics shown during the final season of Friends. The way the events played out captured what happens all too often in “real life.” Women who are not ready to parent have a surprise pregnancy and rise to the occasion. Other women who desperately want to parent are denied this privilege. I don’t know why life plays out this way sometimes. It just plain stinks.
Related Topics:
- In/Fertile Friends? How to deal, sort of!
- Infertility: Surviving Meeting a Newborn
- How to Stay Sane While Going Through Infertility
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