One of the most frustrating parts of the fertility process is when your doctor becomes stumped by your inability to conceive. If each attempt to conceive has a certain chance of succeeding, then you should statistically conceive after a certain number of attempts. For example, if a particular procedure has 20% odds of succeeding, then five attempts ought to fix the problem, right?

I believe my doctor said our odds were 10% of conceiving with each intrauterine insemination (IUI). So, statistically, 10 attempts should have yielded positive results, right? We never conceived, even after 22 IUIs, which should have been more than enough to get the job done.

I have chosen to end fertility procedures twice. The first time, it was to adopt my son. The second time, it was because I simply did not have the drive to put my body through fertility procedures month after month when I had a wonderful toddler at home. I did not want to waste his childhood feeling physically and emotionally drained from fertility procedures.

Both times I chose to end fertility treatments, my doctor was emphatic that there was no medical reason in my file for me not to be able to conceive. He really believed that if I just kept trying, I would succeed. As my doctor gave me the speech the second time, he laid his hand on my file, which was several inches thick. I thought to myself, "Regardless of whether we should be able to conceive, we can't. I just need to accept this fact and move on with my life."

While my situation baffled my doctor, at least there was an explanation for our issues. Hub's sperm morphology was poor, my hormone levels were low, I had endometriosis, and I had a "hostile cervix" that did not allow sperm to enter without a doctor's assistance.

Some couples have unexplained infertility. They "pass" every test, and the doctor can find no explanation whatsoever to explain why a couple cannot conceive. Both parties' reproductive organs are completely normal: They just cannot conceive a child.

A friend of mine struggled with unexplained infertility, and it was so frustrating for her. At least I knew what was wrong and so could theoretically fix the problem. However, in her case, the doctors said there was nothing wrong. How could she fix something that was not broken but still did not work? She ultimately did conceive after her first IUI and needed no fertility assistance to conceive her second child, so it all worked out in the end, but it was quite stressful before she conceived her first child.

I do not know why some people are never able to conceive, even when the doctors say that there is nothing in the profile to explain why. Perhaps there is another cause of infertility that doctors do not yet know about. All I know is that this is extremely frustrating to the couple involved.

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Photo credit: Lynda Bernhardt