When I was desperately trying to become a mother, I wrestled with my faith. I had always heard that if I "had faith" and prayed hard enough, that God would answer my prayers. Yet, month after month, my prayers were not answered (at least not in the way that I wanted them answered).

I could not understand why God would not bless me with a child. I was married, financially secure, in my late twenties, and quite ready to become a mother. I was doing everything "right," but a baby was not coming. What was I doing wrong?

One person speculated that perhaps God did not want me to be a mother. Boy, did that hurt. I thought about the women who neglect or abuse their babies as well as those who abandon their newborns in dumpsters or toilets. I could not believe that God felt no need to divinely sterilize them, but for some reason He felt it necessary to sterilize me. That simply did not make sense, and being told this made me angry.

I have friends who believed that God was causing their infertility as punishment for prior "sins," such as premarital sex or an abortion. I would ask these women what my "sin" had been, but they had no answer for me. I also thought about Hannah in the Bible, who was a righteous woman but still struggled with infertility. My inability to conceive was not a malady inflicted by God: It was a medical condition that was a part of my being human. Human bodies sometimes fail to operate properly, and mine malfunctioned when it came to the ability to conceive a child.

I finally reached the conclusion that God's role in my infertility was one of comforter. God might not change my circumstances, but He could offer me comfort as I endured this pain. I did not have to travel this journey alone.

And now, sitting from the perspective of someone who has been a mother for over six years, I can see how everything worked out for the best. If I had conceived, I would have had a child. Because I did not conceive, I have a child (through adoption), a fabulous job blogging here, and the ability to offer comfort and hope to other women who are struggling with the same issues with which I once wrestled. Overall, things wound up working out for the best and even better than I could have dreamed.

Related Topics:

• Infertility: Why Me?
• Infertility: What Lessons Are You Learning?

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