It is crucial to know when it is appropriate to withdraw our attention from things that disturb our mind. However, if the only way we know how to deal with certain objects is to avoid them, there will be a severe limit as to how far our spiritual practice can take us.

-Lama Thubten Yeshe, "Introduction to Tantra"

I read this above quote and my mind started to give attention to all of the things that I probably shouldn't give attention to. Just like when someone tells you to "Don't look" and then you immediately turn to see what they are talking about.

I have admitted before that I am a worrier by birth, genetics and circumstance. It has taken me so much time, energy and effort to accomplish a stable mind the majority of the time. But what if it could be that simple? To just direct your attention away from what is eating away at your mind?

During our infertility, the worry was the only thing that I could focus on. The loss of our expectations of getting pregnant quickly and easily caused me hourly grief. The concern about my future without children drove me.

But again, from the quote above what was gained from focusing on our infertility? Looking back, I think that the good from that amount of focus was the importance of moving forward. If I hadn't concentrated on the losses so intensely, would I have grieved longer, without action? Would I have researched and decided on an adoption agency years before we even applied for adoption? Found out all of the criteria and created a budget? I don't think so. Although I drove myself crazy during that time, I think that it worked for my advantage. On a daily basis, I could have used some relief from my mind. But in the big picture of things it was worth it.