Finishing up with the article, “Women Without Children: Finding Their Place”, written by Erica Heilman, I wanted to re-print some more of the interview, and also give some of my opinions about what was said. Once again, this was a very interesting perspective of life as a woman.
You talk in your book about the importance of making a conscious choice about motherhood at some point. Why is this so important? It has been true that there is an expectation that if you’re female, sooner or later you will also be mother. And so, whether or not you like it, that equation is in the picture from your girlhood on, and this expectation is somehow internalized. Either you accept this expectation, or you have to fight it and become conscious about it.
In either case, the fact of this expectation of motherhood takes up a lot of psychic space. And so if you just let it drift by and then your body makes the decision for you, then you have cut off access to a whole generative capacity, psychologically speaking, that is not available to you.These terms are sort of lofty. How do you convince people that expectation actually takes up space and energy in a person?
Well let me give you a couple of examples. Two women I spoke with – one made a conscious decision not to have children, and the other had to have a hysterectomy – so it was decided for her. In each case, when they finally made that decision not to have children, there was a release of creative energy that happened, because some part of them was no longer saving the energy for the arrival of this imagined child, which even could be an unconsciously imagined child.
Dr. Ireland then goes on to say that she believes that there may be as much as a 25% increase in energy that comes with this decision making that can then be spent going in other directions, such as new experiences. She then says that the our unconscious is a huge aspect in our decision making, although we may not recognize it as a society.
This part of the article made me think about how energy in my life has been freed, limited and increased at certain times over my life span. Did these energy surges or deficiencies correlate with certain decisions about my life? Thinking back, I decided that the answer was both yes and no. I then also began to wonder, what would my energy be like and where would I be if I had made the decision to not have my children? I certainly know that there would be an energy increase due to being well rested and by having my worries about their safety be non-existent. But would I be more creative, would I be more adventurous? We can only wonder.
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