Continuing with the second part of the women without children series by Erica Hielman at the Chicago Sun-Times, is the article concerning indecision.
One of the most helpful points of this part of the article involved the myth of fertility treatments. In a sense, our society has now been convinced that we can delay pregnancy due to the new technology. Another point that she made was that “The role of American women in the workplace and in the culture at large has changed radically in the last hundred years. The biology of reproduction, however, has not,”
In reading this part of the article, I felt that Dr. Ireland had lost some of her empathy towards women who had focused on their careers at a young age, as opposed to becoming mothers. Now this may be because she was targeting women of the 60′s or 70′s generation, which is her generation and not mine. Maybe she felt that she could be more direct about the prospect of parenthood in this aspect. Here is an example of what I mean.
So there’s a way in which the Transitional Women are not actually battling time, but are putting off really candid consideration?
That’s right. And you know, those women are my greatest concern. It begins to dawn on them that it’s not going to happen unless they do something right away. And some women put it off until it’s a biological impossibility, short of these miraculous attempts now that people make with in vitro fertilization. Some of these women I spoke with were so bitter. In a sense they wanted to put the blame anywhere but on themselves.
Can you describe this bitterness?
Some of the Transitional Women I spoke with never acknowledged that, “It’s my time and I’m letting it go by. I’ve got to grab hold now and do this if I really want to.” Some women just couldn’t do it. I’m talking about people that are over 45. And then, when it becomes an impossibility, some of these women become bitter. And it’s ugly. It;s like a toxic contaminant. And it begins to affect their relationships and their sense of themselves.